Hi, my name is
Meredith and I have a two year old.
That should be a support group of some kind. I feel like, in
this season of my life, that I need to go sit in a circle of fellow
‘moms-of-two-year-olds’ and express my failures and frustrations.
When we had our first-born, Caleb, I thought I was an
amazing parent. Not only was my kid adorable, he was kind, gentle and
tenderhearted. People used to ask us parenting advice because our child was an
angel. Not to say that Caleb isn’t a handful…because, at times, he certainly
is…just expressing how easy it has been to parent him.
Then came Calvin, my youngest and second-born. From the
moment he started showing his personality, I knew he was different. He was made
of a different breed…the Svoboda breed. Calvin is stubborn, strong-willed,
angry, exuberant, fun; cuddly and loud bundled into one, tiny human body. He is
something that words cannot express. He is simply, Calvin.
Calvin brings out emotions in me that I didn’t know existed.
He is exactly what I picture my sweet husband to be when he was two years old.
With all of this being said, I feel like I am in the depths
of one of the hardest seasons in my life. At times, I feel relief when it is
bedtime because I will be able to relax…or go to work, because it gets me out
of the house. They are feelings that I instantly regret feeling the moment they
enter my mind. I am close to tears almost every day and I am not sure how to
control it or approach it. Finally, after being on the brink of an emotional
breakdown, I emailed one of my dearest friends. Here is my message:
Would
you mind praying for me? I am having such a hard time being a good mom to
Calvin. He is SO different from anything that I have ever experienced while
parenting Caleb and it is infuriating. I'm just not sure what to do and feel
like I am doing such an awful job!
I could feel the tears coming as I typed that message and
the despair just grew deeper and deeper. She saw past my ‘failures’ and
responded in a way that I knew I needed. She spoke straight from experience
into my heart. Whew! I’m crying now just reading her response…
I
will pray with you. The second child tends to be more willful generally
speaking. It's hard to have patience. I remember. God has made him for a
different purpose than Caleb. It might require some different traits that need
your cultivation and pruning. I will pray that God with give you insight into
how to parent him with God's purpose for him in mind. I will pray for you to
have patience and peace. Sometimes you just need to put him in his room and go
scream into your pillow. I’ve done that too! Sometimes I pray right in front of
them for God to give me patience and to give them self-control. As God works in
your relationship with Calvin let me know how I can pray more specifically. I
will be happy to lift you up.
Ah! …You mean the things that I find uncontrollable in my
child could be used for something good? You mean to tell me that his
stubbornness and hard-headedness could be used for something amazing? Something
only God could orchestrate? …YES! JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR.
Just because I am in the midst of the ‘terrible two’s’
doesn't mean that it is without purpose. There will be really great days and
terribly awful days to come but they are all for his glory. With His precious
grace, I have confidence that we will overcome these hard years (and leap for
joy when they are over!!). My prayer is that I see Calvin in the same way that
Christ sees him…as an “arrow in the hands of a warrior”. One day Calvin will do great things. Today,
it is my responsibility to train him.
So, Mom’s of two year olds, take heart and PRAY for the hearts of your little ones!(…and scream in your pillow every once in awhile ;)
